No, I actually don’t want to spend time with you

word porn 1One of the many themes of z2 is that time is a precious commodity, and needs to be used well. A good bit of my time and probably yours is committed to health (eating, sleeping) hygiene (bathing, cleaning) and supporting ourselves. In fact, when we get done with all of that there isn’t much left over. But there is some, and for me at least it is the most precious resource that I have.

So what to do when someone announces that they want some of it? If it’s a person I care about, they generally get my ear, my help moving, a ride somewhere, whatever.  The time I give them may or may not bring me joy, but they do, and so I share willingly.

The more difficult situation is the social event that I have no desire to attend. I’m a strong introvert, and I get my full daily allowance of people just from going to work and filling gas. However, some social functions aren’t really optional. If it’s work mandated, or important to someone I care about, I go. Of course. If it’s a chance to try something new or learn about something that interests me, I sometimes give it a try. One can be surprised.

raising11But if it’s an old acquaintance I haven’t heard from in a long time and didn’t particularly enjoy back when, then I have finally learned to say no. Some people just bring me down. They may complain a lot, or talk about others, or make little jokes that insult me or people I know or whole groups of people. The net result is that whenever I spend time with them I feel sadder, smaller, and weaker than I did before. So why would anyone do that?

Yet for years if somebody invited me somewhere I felt obligated to go, if I was available. At best I’d make up a lie about having other plans and I’m a really bad liar. Recently, I have managed, instead, to say to such people “my life’s just too full right now, but thanks for thinking of me.” No suggestion of a another time, no saying I’m sorry I can’t make it. At most I have added “I hope the rest of you have fun.” And I do, I wish no one ill. I just don’t want to be there, and I’m finally old enough to recognize that I don’t have to be.

It’s tremendously liberating!

(Please drop by the Facebook pages of Raising Ecstasy and Word Porn and drop off a like for the great images shown above.)

 

 

Meet hope

hippiepeace7I’ve been reading a lot of other people’s blogs lately, thinking that it’s good to look up once in awhile and see what is going on around you. Amidst the silly, the funny and the introspective, one finds the occasional post that just tears at the heart. I reposted one such story yesterday on my x0 blog. It was about the children of Syria and the atrocities so many of them have been forced to endure.

We can’t fix much as individuals, but we also shouldn’t run away from the knowledge that something needs fixing. I think that it is important to confront the the pain in this world, and to use the information as a call to whatever action we can take.

On the other hand, it can be easy to loose sight of the fact that there is much that is good in the world. It is even less common, I think, to find the blog that fills one with optimism. Luckily I have stumbled on a great one. A writer named Cathryn Wellner has set out to find 1001 reasons to be optimistic and as of today she is at number 973 and going. She picked the number 1001 because “that’s how many nights it took Scheherazade to soften the heart of the king” and she invites readers to share their own stories of people, places, photographs, and events that have given them hope. Her compilation is called “This Gives Me Hope” and it will have you laughing, crying and feeling better about life on this planet. I promise. You can check out her Facebook page too.

While you’re on Facebook, drop by the Hippie Peace Freaks page and give them a like for the great image shown above. They are another bright spot.

What about the fact that there are folks out there posting such positive messages? This gives me hope, too.

Coincidence? I think not ….

Psychedelic 5I’ve been caught up recently in the concept that writing novels is what I am meant to do. This is all started when my qigong instructor posted a blog about when he realized that teaching qigong was his mission in life, and I responded by telling him I had found mine too.

Isn’t that cool? But have I? And why am I so sure?

One of the problems with writing speculative fiction is that you read a lot of it, and it is full of tales to refute any theory you might have. I could tell you that every time I have run into a stumbling block with my writing, something unexpected has gently appeared to help me through it. Coincidence? Well, I have also read the “The Sparrow“, a wonderful book about space travel and inter-species misunderstandings and the foolishness of turning to small signs around you to decide that you are on the right path.

I’ve also read plenty of novels that compel me ask exactly who it is that I think picks these paths anyway, and to make me question whether he, she or it is both benign and competent for the task. There are a lot of theories out there, any many don’t bode well for those of us who are charging ahead feeling sure of where we are going.

None-the-less, I get up happily each morning certain that I am leading the life I am supposed to lead.  My health remains good, my outlook is great, I continue to be surrounded by love and I look forward to doing what I do. Coincidence? I think not.

(Please send a like to the fine folks at Psychedelic Adventure on Facebook. The great image above came from their site.)